My Notes from Facebook: Lots of Build Up, Little Punchline
Non-Alcoholic Drinks Only I Would Ever Take the Time to Invent
10:56pm Tuesday, Mar 4
The Bitter Cold:
1 Part Crushed Ice
1 Part Pomegranate Juice
2 Parts Grapefruit Juice
Blend. Garnish with lime slice. Drink with gusto! Grimace.
Stories of Quick Wit and Undeniable Charm by Legendary Icons
7:18pm Tuesday, Mar 4
While studying to become an actor, Marlon Brando’s teacher instructed a class to act like chickens, adding that a bomb was about to fall on them. Everyone in the class began running around and clucking loudly. Everyone except for Brando who sat calmly and pretended to lay an egg. Perplexed, the teacher asked Brando to explain his actions. Brando replied “I’m a chicken- what do I know of bombs?”
Obvious Things I Love About Driving Convertibles
9:42am Monday, Mar 3
1. The tops can come down on warm days.
Quotes I Totally Agree With by People I Totally Idolize
1:46pm Friday, Feb 29
In response to a color-blind man in a sartorial predicament:
“I tend to agree with the pottery designer Jonathan Adler, who says that ‘colors can’t clash.’ There is far too much ‘tasteful’ color coordination in this world, and we shouldn’t have to rely on the subcontinent of India to show us how brilliant a mishmash can be.”
- Glenn O’Brien
New Years Are Pretty Much the Same: Funny Things My Dad Does
8:54pm Wednesday, Jan 2
Fresh off of making his resolutions, my dad was settling into his evening snack. He couldn’t quite tell why I guffawed at the large piece of chicken parmesan he had resting on a cracker. “What!?!?” he asked. “Triscuits are good for you!”
A Touch of Cynicism: Christmas Oi and the New Sneers.
9:05am Monday, Dec 31, 2007
Thank goodness the holidays are almost over. Just a few more hours and then the annoying lights will be off people’s houses, traffic will stop being so erratic and rampant commercialism and public drunkenness will return to more palatable levels. All at the drop of a pimped out disco ball.
And not a moment too soon, either, if you ask me!
Now all I’ve got to deal with are the January crowds at the gym… The last remnants of these phony holidays are people’s short-lived resolutions.
BAH HUMBUG!
Life Observations and Cynical Musings
7:31am Friday, Dec 21, 2007
They say that, as you get older, you like sweeter things less in place of bitter things. Is this to match our demeanors?
File System Parallax
3:08pm Tuesday, Dec 18, 2007
Sometimes, just for fun, I like to compress a directory and then place the resulting .zip file inside of it…
Trippy..
Fiery Prayers and Nerd Gospel
6:22pm Sunday, Dec 16, 2007
… And so Ryu begat the Haduken.
And unto his enemies he proclaimed,
“Down, diagonal, forward + punch.”
And then there was light.
And the enemies were cast away and banished until they could insert two quarters.
Amen.
Accounts of Random Occurrences
6:52am Tuesday, Nov 13, 2007
On my way to work the other day, I drove by a fat, old man with a Richard-Nixon-like nose in a small car. He was balding and had ridiculously bushy eyebrows. His license plate frames read “I’d Rather Be Roller Skating.”